bored

I am bored with things the way they are going.. I feel like I need a change.. I get this way every 6 months or so and I up and move across the country when I can. I dont want to move this time, so that is good news for my family.. I am happy I get to see my family every few days, and I am glad Ill be able to be with them for the holidays coming up.. so why am I so anxious for something to happen? Is it that I need to find me a guy? a new job? I dont know but something has to happen.. and soon

this life sucks

why is it that we can never had the ones we want, dont want the ones we have, and need the ones that are gone? I want some one, and I cant have him.. I have so much on my mind about the situation right now, and why couldnt things just be different? things will never be right for me, I will never find love again. I just want to change the way it all happened.

emotions

Why do we let emotions get to us? I have something very important happening in a month, and it could change the course of my future quite a bit. I am nervous about how it is going to turn out, I am scared it wont end the way it needs to, I am worried it will just be dragged on and on,  I am frightened it will go the wrong way and I could end up just EFed,  I am excited because it is taking me to cali for 2-3 days so I will get to see some friends for a bit. I am upset it may make it so I dont end up in CO for xmas with my family. I am happy if it ends up being done and over with!! its a lot of emotions to deal with, and I am just trying to figure out which one I am feeling the most of.. I think the excitement of going to cali, and getting to see 2 important people!

wine.. oh how I love thee

Drinking wine is fun. I came home from a horrible night at work, and I busted out the bottle of wine I had in my fridge. It aided me in getting rid of the headache that had come on at work. I had a wonderful evening hanging out with the neighbors, who were laughing at me cause of how much the wine affected me. (neighbor is younger and she drinks often so can handle it more then me.) I slept fine last night, but woke up early this morning not able to sleep any more, and now I have a wine hang over which let me tell you is worse then a beer or hard liquor hang over.. the head ache is worse, and so is the upset tummy.. I cant wait to bust open another bottle of wine next weekend!!

plateau

So I have plateaued on my diet.. so this week is going to be hard core no carbs diet!! I went to the store and bought cucumbers and tomatoes and some meats and veggies... I am only 20 lbs at from my goal weight!! I am very excited and cant wait to at least get 5 more lbs off so I can do some new clothes shopping but I wont do it til I lose the weight so I dont have to buy more again.. My goal size is 7/9 2 to 3 sizes.. its gonna be a hard week, then gonna slowly bring some healthy carbs back in. I am going to use the wii active, and start swimming laps.. hopefully in 10 weeks Ill be at my goal weight!!

good experience

So I am going to be made an office person at work.. the job I was going to quit but they told me they cant lose me so they will promote me! I am very excited to have this experience (its kinda like a manager position) so I can put it on my resume!! I have never had an official tittle of anything I have always just done the job with out the tittle or pay. (and yes it means a raise too!) I am very excited this all is going to be happening in the next 2 weeks! now I need to go buy some fancy shirts and new pants that fit me!!

music!!

I love music! of all kinds! and tonight I get to put 18 CDs that I love so much onto my Computer!! I cant wait til I have all 5000 songs back onto my computer! (thank you Daniel) I am excited to be about to update my ipod again and listen to all the things I have miss oh so much! I also have bought a few things myself that I am excited will be able to be put onto my ipod soon too!! Music is just so relaxing and nice or it can be the angry music that makes you feel like the world just sucks but you feel good listening to it! There is just so many different songs out there I love them all and can all set a new mood!