funk

I am in a funk... I need to go on a year sabatical. I want to to just leave this world for a while. Leave and not have to talk to or deal with any one unless I want to see them! I Hate that things are not going the way I want them to be going. I hate that I am not the nice sweet person that every one expects me to be.. I hate that I have to pretend I am a nice person.. I am mean and I want to be mean.. I want to be able to just do the things I like to do and not have to work or worry about money and pay my bills.. I want to just fast forward to something better.. I don't feel like my life is worth anything.. The only thing keeping me going right now is the encouragement I am getting from my best friend... She helps me with so much in my life, and I would not have anything if it wasn't for her! I am hoping things turn around soon... that is all..