missing

I am tired.. but I havent been able to sleep well lately.. I think I miss sleeping next to him.. I have been missing him alot these last few weeks. I dont think anyone will ever compare.. He wasnt perfect at all, just perfect for me.. did we have our problems sure... do I think we could have worked them out.. maybe.. more so now that we have grown up some.. do I think we would be together if I was there? yes.. I want some one that knows about music and guns. and keeps me updated on the news cause I never watch it.. and will kill bugs for me even if he laughs at me while he does it (or complains that he has to do it) and some one that when I ask him to fix something can do it, and will.. I want him.. the man he is now.. The wonderful sweet (tho he wont admit it) man that I love. take me in your arms hold me tight and dont ever let me go!

I met a guy..

Well I took a chance, and I went to meet a guy from online.. He is nice, a little too nice.. He is already blowing up my phone!! we met yesterday!! I had a good time.. We went to eat, and watched a movie, and we did kiss at the end of the night (yes that is all just kissed). He told me he would miss me (WHAT YOU DONT KNOW ME?) and then I had a message this morning before work, and then mid work.. and now he wants to talk to me.. I dont have cell service at home, and no home phone yet so he wants to FB me... and I am sorry but I dont just friend anyone on fb.. so that is that.. I dont know if I want to see him again or not.. He wants to hang out after work on wed.. I guess thats not too obsessive, its like 3 days later.. I dont know I just am not used to a guy wanting to see me unless its just for sex, which may be his goal..

all alone.

So now that I live alone, I am lonely.. but I have been able to eat some what better, and I have to walk up and down stairs to get home.. I thought I would work out more, but I dont have time.. I am working 7 days a week, and am still working on getting the apt all set up and boxes put away, which is not easy when you have no where to put them.. I have been feeling very alone lately... I was hanging out with a girl from work, but not so much now, we just work different days and its hard.. I have no place to go to meet people, and if I did, when would I have the time? I miss Cali, there are lots of people in cali to meet.. I miss hanging out with my bff.. I just want to figure out my life..

My life uncomplicating..

Well, I am in my apt, and I think that my life will start to become alot less complicated.. I can do my own thing anytime I want, have people over if I want. I can clean it if I want, or not.. I can leave my undies laying around all over the place!! I can cook if I want or just eat a bowl of cereal!! I will still get to see Landen twice a week, Ill be baby sitting him 2 times a week for 2 months :) We will go swimming and play and watch movies and have a great time!! I am super excited!! Had to spend $200 at wal-mart today on crap to cook and eat on.. I like having my own place but its expensive!!

life...

I am finally moving into an apt, its small but clean.. I think I am going to quit the second job anyway, the 3-5 hours a week is not worth the money, the gas to drive into town cost more. I am lonely and miss people in cali!! I am glad I have made a friend here, it makes it a little better.. I wish I could meet a guy, but I kinda am glad I havent.... I dont need the drama.. so all in all I am alive, and content in my life..

never

Nothing ever goes right for me!!! I didnt get the apt, I am still living with me sister. I am not getting full time at work, and I am not going to be able to quit the 2nd job... I just need to quit both and become the flight attendant like I wanted to..

sadness..

first of all sorry its been a while... I didnt move into my apt.. as it was roach infested.. I am looking for a new place now.. I am done with the spring semester, summer time is here!!! My mom is coming out to visit us in 2 weeks, for 2 weeks, its going to be long 2 weeks of doing alot of activities and trying to fit things in between working 2 jobs. I am losing alot of weight down almost 15lbs (thank you weight watchers)...